Why Enmeshment Happens In Families And Who Can Help Prevent It

you can end the legacy of enmeshment and codependency in your family.

Welcome to Good Enough, a weekly subscriber newsletter where I help you work through your family drama to create more meaningful adult family relationships. This is Week 2 out of 4 in the Family Enmeshment Series.

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This Email Is For:

• Anyone who wants to know why and how enmeshment (extreme lack of boundaries) happens in families

• Anyone who wants to end generational patterns of enmeshment in their family

What’s In This Email:

• 4 reasons why enmeshment happens in families

• how to end generational patterns of enmeshment and codependency in your family

• A message for those who have the power to end enmeshment in their family

• An invitation to join me May 29 at 10:30AM for a live and recorded Q&A about Enmeshed Families

(7 min read)

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Andrea’s face appears on the screen in front of me. We exchange brief pleasantries before she pulls out her phone and begins scrolling. “I want to read you something,” she tells me without breaking eye contact from her phone.

Andrea starts reading me a text from her mother. Her mom sent a series of text messages in the middle of the work day. It started off with venting about something. 20 minutes passed and Andrea still hadn’t responded. “I was in a meeting,” she tells me. Her mom starts firing off text messages about how she’s her mother, she needs to respond, she needs her, and if she doesn’t respond soon she’s going to be so upset.

Andrea holds her phone up to the computer screen to show me just how many texts her mom sent and then tosses it across the room. I hear it hit the floor and I don’t blame her at all for that reaction.

These texts are just one example of how Andrea and her mother have become trapped in a cycle of enmeshment. Andrea is her mother’s emotional support person and she’s expected to provide this support anytime, anywhere. If she doesn’t provide immediate support, she gets punished. Andrea wants to be a good daughter. She wants to be loving and supportive, and she needs her life back. She can’t be at the mercy of her mother’s moods. The cycle of enmeshment has to end with her.